


Peter in the Suburbs

by Triangulum



Series: Dahlia Emmeline Hale [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Holidays, Kid Fic, M/M, The Steter Network Monthly Prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 06:46:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13002135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Triangulum/pseuds/Triangulum
Summary: "As much as I love seeing you in the shirt I bought you," Stiles says, nodding down the plaid button up Peter has on, "I thought I told you to stop making the neighbors cry?""He isn't crying," Peter says. "He'll probably wait until he's in the comfort of his own home to do that."OrPointless fluff inspired by Ian's damn GMC commercial.





	Peter in the Suburbs

**Author's Note:**

> So [ this commercial](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcywR-phlM8&feature=youtu.be) is absolutely suburbs!Peter being a smarmy little shit and I've watched it like ten times. And I just had to.
> 
> And what do you know, it works for the Steter Network Monthly Prompt of holiday cheer! (Kind of?)

Peter loves his life. He loves his daughter and he loves his husband. He loves that there aren't monsters and darachs and rogue hunters rolling in to Beacon Hills every few weeks. He doesn't necessarily love living in the suburbs, but he loves that it gives Dahlia the chance to play with kids her own age. He doesn't love most of his neighbors either, though he does love tormenting them.

Peter's standing on the sidewalk, watching Dahlia ride up and down the street on her bike. She just got her training wheels off and is a little wobbly. Peter knows she heals almost instantly from any bumps and scrapes she gets when she tips over, but he can't help watching. She smiles happily at him every time she peddles by. 

The neighbor across the street pulls in to his driveway, and walks around to the back of his SUV, starting to unload oversized Christmas decorations. Peter grins and crosses the street. He may not indiscriminately murder anymore, but he does like to drag certain people when he can. If he can't kill them, he can at least toy with them. 

Mike, a man who screams superiority complex (Peter would know) but is actually a bit useless, unloads a giant inflatable snowman. Its scarf and nose light up and a tinkling, mechanical Jingle Bells tune plays from it. He looks entirely too pleased with himself.

"Whoa, Mike!" Peter says, strolling over

"Hey," Mike says, looking up hopefully. He's always tried to get on Peter's good side (inviting him over for games, offering him some extra fish he caught last weekend) while simultaneously trying to prove he's better (trying to outdo Stiles' yearly holiday decorations, one up them on vacation plans). Suburban life is so tedious, but Peter knows how to play this game.

"That's quite the snowman you've got there," Peter says, looking at the snowman that's easily eight or nine feet tall.

"Yeah it was quite the sale," Mike says pompously, looking entirely too satisfied. Peter knows that he's thinking Stiles can't top that. Oh ye of little faith. "I saved hundreds. You?"

"I saved thousands," Peter says, sounding only slightly smug. He turns and takes the car keys out of his pocket and hits the remote, making the front lights of the large SUV flash in his driveway. "And mine lights up, too." He looks at Mike's flashing snowman, playing its tinkling Jingle Bells. "Very handsome."

"Stop," Mike says, lifting his hands up in defeat. Peter just smirks. 

In all honesty, the SUV isn't even theirs. Peter's car is in the shop and it's a rental, but Mike is the kind of man who places a high value on things like new cars and flashy toys, so it's fun to play with him a bit. 

(Peter understands. Before Dahlia and Stiles, before the fire, he used to be the same.)

"How's Caroline?" Peter asks, throwing him a bit of a bone. It is the holiday season, after all.

Mike grabs on to it like a lifeline. "She's good! She'll be back from her sister's any day now, then we're off to Aspen," Mike says. 

"Papa!" Dahlia calls. Peter looks across the street to see Dahlia in their driveway, standing next to her bike. She's in jeans, tennis shoes, and a sweatshirt, but also a sparkly black tutu that she refuses to go a day without. 

"Yes, sweetheart?" Peter asks.

"Daddy says gingerbread cookies are ready!" Dahlia says, and turns to dash inside the house.

Peter looks at Mike and shrugs. "You heard her. Cookies are waiting," Peter says.

Mikes waves him off, looking a little forlornly at his inflatable snowman and Peter can't suppress his grin. He doesn't manage to wipe it off his face before Stiles meets him at the front door, eyebrows raised.

"As much as I love seeing you in the shirt I bought you," Stiles says, nodding down the plaid button up Peter has on, "I thought I told you to stop making the neighbors cry?"

"He isn't crying," Peter says. "He'll probably wait until he's in the comfort of his own home to do that."

Stiles rolls his eyes but tugs Peter in by the front of his jacket anyway, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"Derek's right, living here has made you even more bizarre than you were before," Stiles says.

" _Me?_ " Peter says. "I don't believe I'm the one that gets into an annual Christmas decorations war with half the houses on the block. Or the one that's on a mission to out-nice the Pattersons with baked goods. Or broke into Mrs. Collins' house to search for her roast recipe that she wouldn't share."

"No, you just bribed the neighborhood watch captain to crash the Hansons' barbeque and accuse them of smoking weed," Stiles says. "And bought the Russel kids paintball guns and steered them toward Mrs.Collins' house. _And_ sprayed weed killer in the shape of a hand flipping the bird into the Hendersons' front lawn."

"I have no idea what you mean," Peter says airily. He has to get his kicks somewhere, and if making their obnoxious neighbors' lives a little harder scratches that itch, well, that's fine with him. "Dahlia said something about cookies?"

Stiles rolls his eyes and starts toward the kitchen. "Yes, you maniac, get your cookies," Stiles says.

Dahlia is sitting at the kitchen table and already has three gingerbread cookies in front of her. She has three different kinds of candy and a container of homemade icing so she can decorate them. 

"This one's you, Papa," Dahlia says, pointing to the cookie that's already decorated. The gingerbread man has a wobbly smile and flyaway hair, and Peter personally think it looks a bit like that mad lacrosse coach Stiles had in high school, but he keeps that to himself. It also has a lopsided tie around its neck and it wearing shoes made of Red Hots.

"It looks wonderful," Peter tells her, pressing a kiss to her temple. "What are you going to do for Daddy?" 

"A shirt made of Reese's Pieces," Dahlia says decisively, spreading icing over the gingerbread man's torso before starting to meticulously place each piece of candy. 

"Good choice," Peter says. 

Peter glances up to see Stiles leaning against the door frame, smiling fondly at them. He has a bit of flour on his neck and on his jeans, and Peter thinks he's one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen.

"Papa! Daddy! You have to start on your cookies!" Dahlia says.

"Right you are, princess," Stiles says. He nudges Peter's shoulder when he walks by and sits next to him, pulling three cookies toward him. "All right, I think Papa needs a gumdrop hat."

Peter thinks obnoxious neighbors are a small price to pay for afternoons like this.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [ tumblr ](http://www.hotpinklizard.tumblr.com).


End file.
